Thoughts
by x snow-pony x
Summary: After Tracy's panic attack in 'Chain Reaction', Mike went to the office to think. Here's what happened from his POV, followed by some Tracy/ Mike with alternating POVs.


**A/N Yes, I know I should be going to sleep, especially as I don't feel well, but that's actually part of the reason I'm not. Anyway, I've had this good idea: to do a Mike POV of after Tracy finished crying in 'Chain Reaction'. Hope you enjoy it. :-)**

 **Mike POV**

As I entered the office my head was in turmoil. I'd made sure not to show it when I was with Tracy: the poor thing was already having a hard enough time. But now, sitting down on a chair in the office, I tried to get my thoughts straight.

I don't think any of us saw that coming. Yes, we knew she was upset, well, some of us did anyway, but I never expected that to happen.

This morning I would never have imagined I'd be catching Tracy as she fell to the floor because she couldn't breathe.

The idea was just, well, it just seemed impossible. Tracy wasn't even that upset.

However, the truth was, she _was_ that upset.

She'd just been very good at hiding it.

And now here I was, Tracy in the quiet room after I'd sensed she wanted a bit of time alone to sort out her own head, trying to work out what to think.

And then Gina walked in.

"Have you seen Tracy?" she asked as she came through the door. "I haven't seen her since she left the office earlier.

I sighed.

"Mike?" she asked as she sat down opposite me. "Are you alright?"

I gave a small smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I'm worried about Tracy," said Gina. "I mean, I haven't seen her for about an hour, and I mean you can't just lose someone like that. She must be somewhere. Let's round up the kids and..."

I cut her off. "I know where Tracy is."

"Where?" asked Gina.

"In the quiet room," I replied.

"Why is she in the quiet room?" asked Gina. "Is she OK?"

"I took her there," I said. I sighed. "She had a panic attack no more than fifteen minutes ago."

"What?" asked Gina, looking slightly shocked. "Is she OK?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she is now." I paused. "I caught her as I went into the living room to sort out the noise."

"What do you mean, caught her?" asked Gina.

I looked to the floor, not wanting to talk about how Tracy had been hurt. "Her legs gave way, she was falling." I took a deep breath. "The poor thing couldn't breathe. I had to catch her before she hit the floor and crumpled."

Gina was silent for a moment, before she spoke again. "And to think I was angry with her yesterday over some stupid files."

I looked up at her. "It's not your fault, you couldn't have known." I paused. "She's not angry anyway." I sighed. "She's just hurting. But she'll be alright." I paused again. "I'll go check on her in a minute, see how she's getting on."

Gina gave me a small smile. "You want me to see how the kids are doing?"

I nodded. "Yeah, in a minute." I paused, before looking Gina in the eye. "I know you probably already know this, but, just be gentle with her for the rest of today, yeah? She's been through a lot, and the last thing she needs is someone on her case." I paused, before remembering something else. "Oh, and I've given her the rest of the day off. She's going to stay here, but I don't think it would do her any good if she had to carry on working. So, if you see her not doing much, that's why."

Gina nodded and gave me a smile. "Sounds like a good idea. She needs a break."

I smiled back.

"Why did she have a panic attack anyway?" asked Gina.

I hesitated for a moment, before I realised I couldn't tell her. "It's not my place to say," I said. "She told me everything in confidence, and I'm not going to betray her trust."

"But surely if you tell me it'll be better, because then we can help," said Gina.

I shook my head. "No. She was reluctant to tell me, and before that she made sure that no one knew. Pretty much all the kids saw her panic attack, so I can tell you that. But everything she told me in the quiet room is still her secret to tell, because I'm pretty sure she doesn't want everyone knowing, at least not straight away." I looked Gina in the eye. "If she wishes to tell you, fine. You can ask, but if she says that she doesn't want to tell you then you leave her alone. I had to press her earlier so I could help her, but I don't want her going through that again, OK?"

"OK," said Gina. She gave a nod, though I could tell it was reluctant.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I just want to do what's right for Tracy."

"It's OK, I get it," said Gina.

I gave a smile and Gina gave one back.

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" I called.

Tee and Lily opened the door and came in.

"What can I do for you, girls?" I asked.

"Well, you know everyone was going to give me a party, to welcome me back?" began Lily.

"Yeah," I said, giving a nod.

"Well, we don't really feel like a party anymore," said Tee.

"Right," I said. "And you're telling me this because...?"

"We want to throw a surprise party for Tracy," said Lily, smiling.

I smiled. "That's a fantastic idea." I paused. "Not for a couple of hours though, hey? Tracy's not feeling that great."

"OK," said Tee, a smile on her face as well. "Thank you, Mike."

"You're welcome," I said, before Tee and Lily left the room.

"I need to go and check on Tracy," I said. "I promised her I'd be back."

"OK," said Gina. "Call me if you need anything."

I gave her a smile, before I got up and went to the quiet room.

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

I was exhausted. I wished Mike would come back: he'd been so kind to me and had given me everything I needed.

I jumped as there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I said.

The door opened and revealed Mike. He gave a smile when he saw me.

"You made me jump," I said.

"Oh, sorry," said Mike. He came and sat down next to me. "How're you feeling?"

I shrugged.

"Not great then?" Mike guessed.

I nodded.

"Do you want to stay in here?" asked Mike. "No one else wants to be in here, so you can stay here as long as you like."

"Yeah, I..." I trailed off. "Mike?"

"What's wrong?" he asked gently.

I shook my head, before resting my head on his chest, tears beginning to make their way down my cheeks.

"Everything just a bit too much?" asked Mike, wrapping his arms around me.

I nodded.

"I can look after you," said Mike. "There's no need for you to feel alone and upset again."

I shook my head.

"Why not?" asked Mike.

"Because I still have to go home in the evenings," I said.

"Of course you don't," said Mike. "Go home, get your stuff, and the spare staff bedroom is yours anytime."

"Really?" I asked.

Mike smiled. "All I want is for you to be happy. If you sleeping in the staff bedroom for a few nights achieves that, then I'm quite happy for that to happen."

I smiled, before I relaxed onto Mike. He always made sure I felt safe, secure and happy, and for that I was very grateful.

"And then if you need me you can come and talk to me as well," said Mike.

I nodded.

We sat in silence for a few seconds before Mike spoke up.

"Gina was asking about you," he said.

"What did you say?" I asked, hoping he hadn't told her everything.

"I told her you'd had a panic attack, as pretty much everyone already knows that, and I said if she wanted to know anything else she had to ask you," said Mike. "But I also told her that you don't have to tell her anything if you don't want to."

I gave a small smile: Mike had kept my secret.

"Oh, and I told her you're having the rest of the day off," said Mike. "I didn't want her asking you to do anything if you were just sitting watching TV or something."

"Thanks," I said.

* * *

 **Mike POV**

"What did you do whilst I was gone?" I asked.

"I was just thinking about stuff," said Tracy.

"What kind of stuff?" I asked.

I realised I'd pushed too far when her body began to shake.

"Hey, I'm sorry," I said. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want."

"I'm sorry, it's just..." She trailed off. "If I tell you you're going to think I'm really stupid."

"Of course I won't," I said. "I don't care what it is, I just want to help."

I paused for a moment before speaking up again.

"I did some thinking whilst I was gone as well," I said. "About you."

She looked up at me in fear.

"No, no, nothing bad," I said. "I was just thinking about what had happened, and how I hate to see you hurting."

She gave a small smile, before she rested her head on my chest again. "I was thinking about you."

"What about me?" I asked.

She sighed. "I was just going over our conversation in my head, using it to calm me down."

"Did it work?" I asked.

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

I felt tears coming to my eyes, before I nodded.

"Oh, Trace," said Mike. He held me tighter, letting me relax as I began to sob again.

"It's alright, Trace," he said. He then sensed that I didn't want to talk, and we sat in silence for a few minutes.

A few minutes later I stopped crying and looked up at Mike. "I'm sorry. I should let you get on with your job, instead of have you hug me whilst I cry."

Mike gave a small laugh. "Part of my job is to look after my staff, so I am doing my job." He paused. "Why don't you come with me to the office? That way I can get on with some paperwork or something, but you can still be with me."

I nodded.

Mike smiled. "Come on then." He took my hand and we got up and made our way to the office.

And, as Mike gave my hand a squeeze, I realised something.

I didn't need to be alone anymore.

Because Mike would always look after me.

* * *

 **Mike POV**

When we got to the office I sat at my desk. Tracy brought another chair and put it so that it was by the window, before she sat on it.

I looked through some books on my desk, before I found one I thought she'd like. "Here," I said, passing it to her. "In case you want something to do."

She gave a small smile. "Thanks." She then opened the book and began to read.

I watched her for a moment, a smile on my face, as I realised something.

She wouldn't have to be alone ever again.

Because now I knew what was wrong.

And so I could help her.

And I knew, deep in my heart, that I would always look after her.

 **A/N Hope you liked this. This was a bit different, including Gina and doing a lot of it from Mike POV, but I enjoyed writing it. Please review! :-D**


End file.
